diff --git a/src/applications/maniphest/editor/ManiphestEditEngine.php b/src/applications/maniphest/editor/ManiphestEditEngine.php
index bf440b95e5..2b3655677c 100644
--- a/src/applications/maniphest/editor/ManiphestEditEngine.php
+++ b/src/applications/maniphest/editor/ManiphestEditEngine.php
@@ -42,12 +42,11 @@ final class ManiphestEditEngine
   }
 
   protected function getCommentViewHeaderText($object) {
-    $is_serious = PhabricatorEnv::getEnvConfig('phabricator.serious-business');
-    if (!$is_serious) {
-      return pht('Weigh In');
-    }
+    return pht('Weigh In');
+  }
 
-    return parent::getCommentViewHeaderText($object);
+  protected function getCommentViewButtonText($object) {
+    return pht('Set Sail for Adventure');
   }
 
   protected function getObjectViewURI($object) {
diff --git a/src/applications/paste/editor/PhabricatorPasteEditEngine.php b/src/applications/paste/editor/PhabricatorPasteEditEngine.php
index 6b0f707c2e..b0a2fed288 100644
--- a/src/applications/paste/editor/PhabricatorPasteEditEngine.php
+++ b/src/applications/paste/editor/PhabricatorPasteEditEngine.php
@@ -39,12 +39,11 @@ final class PhabricatorPasteEditEngine
   }
 
   protected function getCommentViewHeaderText($object) {
-    $is_serious = PhabricatorEnv::getEnvConfig('phabricator.serious-business');
-    if (!$is_serious) {
-      return pht('Eat Paste');
-    }
+    return pht('Eat Paste');
+  }
 
-    return parent::getCommentViewHeaderText($object);
+  protected function getCommentViewButtonText($object) {
+    return pht('Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom');
   }
 
   protected function getObjectViewURI($object) {
diff --git a/src/applications/transactions/editengine/PhabricatorEditEngine.php b/src/applications/transactions/editengine/PhabricatorEditEngine.php
index 56b23e7d68..69490faeb4 100644
--- a/src/applications/transactions/editengine/PhabricatorEditEngine.php
+++ b/src/applications/transactions/editengine/PhabricatorEditEngine.php
@@ -169,11 +169,27 @@ abstract class PhabricatorEditEngine
   }
 
 
+  /**
+   * @task text
+   */
+  protected function getCommentViewSeriousHeaderText($object) {
+    return pht('Take Action');
+  }
+
+
+  /**
+   * @task text
+   */
+  protected function getCommentViewSeriousButtonText($object) {
+    return pht('Submit');
+  }
+
+
   /**
    * @task text
    */
   protected function getCommentViewHeaderText($object) {
-    return pht('Add Comment');
+    return $this->getCommentViewSeriousHeaderText($object);
   }
 
 
@@ -181,7 +197,7 @@ abstract class PhabricatorEditEngine
    * @task text
    */
   protected function getCommentViewButtonText($object) {
-    return pht('Add Comment');
+    return $this->getCommentViewSeriousButtonText($object);
   }
 
 
@@ -1125,8 +1141,15 @@ abstract class PhabricatorEditEngine
     $viewer = $this->getViewer();
     $object_phid = $object->getPHID();
 
-    $header_text = $this->getCommentViewHeaderText($object);
-    $button_text = $this->getCommentViewButtonText($object);
+    $is_serious = PhabricatorEnv::getEnvConfig('phabricator.serious-business');
+
+    if ($is_serious) {
+      $header_text = $this->getCommentViewSeriousHeaderText($object);
+      $button_text = $this->getCommentViewSeriousButtonText($object);
+    } else {
+      $header_text = $this->getCommentViewHeaderText($object);
+      $button_text = $this->getCommentViewButtonText($object);
+    }
 
     $comment_uri = $this->getEditURI($object, 'comment/');