diff --git a/src/__phutil_library_map__.php b/src/__phutil_library_map__.php
index c4bc3e10e4..e29082ea42 100644
--- a/src/__phutil_library_map__.php
+++ b/src/__phutil_library_map__.php
@@ -1079,13 +1079,10 @@ phutil_register_library_map(array(
     'PhrictionEditController' => 'applications/phriction/controller/PhrictionEditController.php',
     'PhrictionHistoryController' => 'applications/phriction/controller/PhrictionHistoryController.php',
     'PhrictionListController' => 'applications/phriction/controller/PhrictionListController.php',
-    'QueryFormattingTestCase' => 'infrastructure/storage/query/__tests__/QueryFormattingTestCase.php',
   ),
   'function' =>
   array(
     '_phabricator_date_format' => 'view/viewutils.php',
-    '_qsprintf_check_scalar_type' => 'infrastructure/storage/query/qsprintf.php',
-    '_qsprintf_check_type' => 'infrastructure/storage/query/qsprintf.php',
     'celerity_generate_unique_node_id' => 'infrastructure/celerity/api.php',
     'celerity_get_resource_uri' => 'infrastructure/celerity/api.php',
     'celerity_register_resource_map' => 'infrastructure/celerity/map.php',
@@ -1104,15 +1101,7 @@ phutil_register_library_map(array(
     'phabricator_time' => 'view/viewutils.php',
     'phid_get_type' => 'applications/phid/utils.php',
     'phid_group_by_type' => 'applications/phid/utils.php',
-    'qsprintf' => 'infrastructure/storage/query/qsprintf.php',
-    'queryfx' => 'infrastructure/storage/query/queryfx.php',
-    'queryfx_all' => 'infrastructure/storage/query/queryfx.php',
-    'queryfx_one' => 'infrastructure/storage/query/queryfx.php',
     'require_celerity_resource' => 'infrastructure/celerity/api.php',
-    'vqsprintf' => 'infrastructure/storage/query/qsprintf.php',
-    'vqueryfx' => 'infrastructure/storage/query/queryfx.php',
-    'vqueryfx_all' => 'infrastructure/storage/query/queryfx.php',
-    'xsprintf_query' => 'infrastructure/storage/query/qsprintf.php',
   ),
   'xmap' =>
   array(
@@ -2058,6 +2047,5 @@ phutil_register_library_map(array(
     'PhrictionEditController' => 'PhrictionController',
     'PhrictionHistoryController' => 'PhrictionController',
     'PhrictionListController' => 'PhrictionController',
-    'QueryFormattingTestCase' => 'PhabricatorTestCase',
   ),
 ));
diff --git a/src/infrastructure/storage/query/__tests__/QueryFormattingTestCase.php b/src/infrastructure/storage/query/__tests__/QueryFormattingTestCase.php
deleted file mode 100644
index 2d015948fc..0000000000
--- a/src/infrastructure/storage/query/__tests__/QueryFormattingTestCase.php
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,56 +0,0 @@
-<?php
-
-/*
- * Copyright 2011 Facebook, Inc.
- *
- * Licensed under the Apache License, Version 2.0 (the "License");
- * you may not use this file except in compliance with the License.
- * You may obtain a copy of the License at
- *
- *   http://www.apache.org/licenses/LICENSE-2.0
- *
- * Unless required by applicable law or agreed to in writing, software
- * distributed under the License is distributed on an "AS IS" BASIS,
- * WITHOUT WARRANTIES OR CONDITIONS OF ANY KIND, either express or implied.
- * See the License for the specific language governing permissions and
- * limitations under the License.
- */
-
-final class QueryFormattingTestCase extends PhabricatorTestCase {
-
-  public function testQueryFormatting() {
-    $conn_r = id(new PhabricatorUser())->establishConnection('r');
-
-    $this->assertEqual(
-      'NULL',
-      qsprintf($conn_r, '%nd', null));
-
-    $this->assertEqual(
-      '0',
-      qsprintf($conn_r, '%nd', 0));
-
-    $this->assertEqual(
-      '0',
-      qsprintf($conn_r, '%d', 0));
-
-    $raised = null;
-    try {
-      qsprintf($conn_r, '%d', 'derp');
-    } catch (Exception $ex) {
-      $raised = $ex;
-    }
-    $this->assertEqual(
-      (bool)$raised,
-      true,
-      'qsprintf should raise exception for invalid %d conversion.');
-
-    $this->assertEqual(
-      "'<S>'",
-      qsprintf($conn_r, '%s', null));
-
-    $this->assertEqual(
-      'NULL',
-      qsprintf($conn_r, '%ns', null));
-  }
-
-}
diff --git a/src/infrastructure/storage/query/qsprintf.php b/src/infrastructure/storage/query/qsprintf.php
deleted file mode 100644
index 0af243e3d6..0000000000
--- a/src/infrastructure/storage/query/qsprintf.php
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,314 +0,0 @@
-<?php
-
-/*
- * Copyright 2012 Facebook, Inc.
- *
- * Licensed under the Apache License, Version 2.0 (the "License");
- * you may not use this file except in compliance with the License.
- * You may obtain a copy of the License at
- *
- *   http://www.apache.org/licenses/LICENSE-2.0
- *
- * Unless required by applicable law or agreed to in writing, software
- * distributed under the License is distributed on an "AS IS" BASIS,
- * WITHOUT WARRANTIES OR CONDITIONS OF ANY KIND, either express or implied.
- * See the License for the specific language governing permissions and
- * limitations under the License.
- */
-
-/**
- * Format an SQL query. This function behaves like sprintf(), except that
- * all the normal conversions (like %s) will be properly escaped, and
- * additional conversions are supported:
- *
- *   %nd, %ns, %nf
- *     "Nullable" versions of %d, %s and %f. Will produce 'NULL' if the
- *     argument is a strict null.
- *
- *   %=d, %=s, %=f
- *     "Nullable Test" versions of %d, %s and %f. If you pass a value, you
- *     get "= 3"; if you pass null, you get "IS NULL". For instance, this
- *     will work properly if `hatID' is a nullable column and $hat is null.
- *
- *       qsprintf($conn, 'WHERE hatID %=d', $hat);
- *
- *   %Ld, %Ls, %Lf
- *     "List" versions of %d, %s and %f. These are appropriate for use in
- *     an "IN" clause. For example:
- *
- *       qsprintf($conn, 'WHERE hatID IN(%Ld)', $list_of_hats);
- *
- *   %T ("Table")
- *     Escapes a table name.
- *
- *   %C, %LC
- *     Escapes a column name or a list of column names.
- *
- *   %K ("Comment")
- *     Escapes a comment.
- *
- *   %Q ("Query Fragment")
- *     Injects a raw query fragment. Extremely dangerous! Not escaped!
- *
- *   %~ ("Substring")
- *     Escapes a substring query for a LIKE (or NOT LIKE) clause. For example:
- *
- *       //  Find all rows with $search as a substing of `name`.
- *       qsprintf($conn, 'WHERE name LIKE %~', $search);
- *
- *     See also %> and %<.
- *
- *   %> ("Prefix")
- *     Escapes a prefix query for a LIKE clause. For example:
- *
- *       //  Find all rows where `name` starts with $prefix.
- *       qsprintf($conn, 'WHERE name LIKE %>', $prefix);
- *
- *   %< ("Suffix")
- *     Escapes a suffix query for a LIKE clause. For example:
- *
- *       //  Find all rows where `name` ends with $suffix.
- *       qsprintf($conn, 'WHERE name LIKE %<', $suffix);
- *
- * @group storage
- */
-function qsprintf(AphrontDatabaseConnection $conn, $pattern/*, ... */) {
-  $args = func_get_args();
-  array_shift($args);
-  return xsprintf('xsprintf_query', $conn, $args);
-}
-
-/**
- * @group storage
- */
-function vqsprintf(AphrontDatabaseConnection $conn, $pattern, array $argv) {
-  array_unshift($argv, $pattern);
-  return xsprintf('xsprintf_query', $conn, $argv);
-}
-
-
-/**
- * xsprintf() callback for encoding SQL queries. See qsprintf().
- * @group storage
- */
-function xsprintf_query($userdata, &$pattern, &$pos, &$value, &$length) {
-  $type   = $pattern[$pos];
-  $conn   = $userdata;
-  $next   = (strlen($pattern) > $pos + 1) ? $pattern[$pos + 1] : null;
-
-  $nullable = false;
-  $done     = false;
-
-  $prefix   = '';
-
-  if (!($conn instanceof AphrontDatabaseConnection)) {
-    throw new Exception("Invalid database connection!");
-  }
-
-  switch ($type) {
-    case '=': // Nullable test
-      switch ($next) {
-        case 'd':
-        case 'f':
-        case 's':
-          $pattern = substr_replace($pattern, '', $pos, 1);
-          $length  = strlen($pattern);
-          $type  = 's';
-          if ($value === null) {
-            $value = 'IS NULL';
-            $done = true;
-          } else {
-            $prefix = '= ';
-            $type = $next;
-          }
-          break;
-        default:
-          throw new Exception('Unknown conversion, try %=d, %=s, or %=f.');
-      }
-      break;
-
-    case 'n': // Nullable...
-      switch ($next) {
-        case 'd': //  ...integer.
-        case 'f': //  ...float.
-        case 's': //  ...string.
-          $pattern = substr_replace($pattern, '', $pos, 1);
-          $length = strlen($pattern);
-          $type = $next;
-          $nullable = true;
-          break;
-        default:
-          throw new Exception('Unknown conversion, try %nd or %ns.');
-      }
-      break;
-
-    case 'L': // List of..
-      _qsprintf_check_type($value, "L{$next}", $pattern);
-      $pattern = substr_replace($pattern, '', $pos, 1);
-      $length  = strlen($pattern);
-      $type = 's';
-      $done = true;
-
-      switch ($next) {
-        case 'd': //  ...integers.
-          $value = implode(', ', array_map('intval', $value));
-          break;
-        case 's': // ...strings.
-          foreach ($value as $k => $v) {
-            $value[$k] = "'".$conn->escapeString($v)."'";
-          }
-          $value = implode(', ', $value);
-          break;
-        case 'C': // ...columns.
-          foreach ($value as $k => $v) {
-            $value[$k] = $conn->escapeColumnName($v);
-          }
-          $value = implode(', ', $value);
-          break;
-        default:
-          throw new Exception("Unknown conversion %L{$next}.");
-      }
-      break;
-  }
-
-  if (!$done) {
-    _qsprintf_check_type($value, $type, $pattern);
-    switch ($type) {
-      case 's': // String
-        if ($nullable && $value === null) {
-          $value = 'NULL';
-        } else {
-          $value = "'".$conn->escapeString($value)."'";
-        }
-        $type = 's';
-        break;
-
-      case 'Q': // Query Fragment
-        $type = 's';
-        break;
-
-      case '~': // Like Substring
-      case '>': // Like Prefix
-      case '<': // Like Suffix
-        $value = $conn->escapeStringForLikeClause($value);
-        switch ($type) {
-          case '~': $value = "'%".$value."%'"; break;
-          case '>': $value = "'" .$value."%'"; break;
-          case '<': $value = "'%".$value. "'"; break;
-        }
-        $type  = 's';
-        break;
-
-      case 'f': // Float
-        if ($nullable && $value === null) {
-          $value = 'NULL';
-        } else {
-          $value = (float)$value;
-        }
-        $type = 's';
-        break;
-
-      case 'd': // Integer
-        if ($nullable && $value === null) {
-          $value = 'NULL';
-        } else {
-          $value = (int)$value;
-        }
-        $type = 's';
-        break;
-
-      case 'T': // Table
-      case 'C': // Column
-        $value = $conn->escapeColumnName($value);
-        $type = 's';
-        break;
-
-      case 'K': // Komment
-        $value = $conn->escapeMultilineComment($value);
-        $type = 's';
-        break;
-
-      default:
-        throw new Exception("Unknown conversion '%{$type}'.");
-
-    }
-  }
-
-  if ($prefix) {
-    $value = $prefix.$value;
-  }
-  $pattern[$pos] = $type;
-}
-
-
-/**
- * @group storage
- */
-function _qsprintf_check_type($value, $type, $query) {
-  switch ($type) {
-    case 'Ld': case 'Ls': case 'LC': case 'LA': case 'LO':
-      if (!is_array($value)) {
-        throw new AphrontQueryParameterException(
-          $query,
-          "Expected array argument for %{$type} conversion.");
-      }
-      if (empty($value)) {
-        throw new AphrontQueryParameterException(
-          $query,
-          "Array for %{$type} conversion is empty.");
-      }
-
-      foreach ($value as $scalar) {
-        _qsprintf_check_scalar_type($scalar, $type, $query);
-      }
-      break;
-    default:
-      _qsprintf_check_scalar_type($value, $type, $query);
-      break;
-  }
-}
-
-
-/**
- * @group storage
- */
-function _qsprintf_check_scalar_type($value, $type, $query) {
-  switch ($type) {
-    case 'Q': case 'LC': case 'T': case 'C':
-      if (!is_string($value)) {
-        throw new AphrontQueryParameterException(
-          $query,
-          "Expected a string for %{$type} conversion.");
-      }
-      break;
-
-    case 'Ld': case 'd': case 'f':
-      if (!is_null($value) && !is_numeric($value)) {
-        throw new AphrontQueryParameterException(
-          $query,
-          "Expected a numeric scalar or null for %{$type} conversion.");
-      }
-      break;
-
-    case 'Ls': case 's':
-    case '~': case '>': case '<': case 'K':
-      if (!is_null($value) && !is_scalar($value)) {
-        throw new AphrontQueryParameterException(
-          $query,
-          "Expected a scalar or null for %{$type} conversion.");
-      }
-      break;
-
-    case 'LA': case 'LO':
-      if (!is_null($value) && !is_scalar($value) &&
-          !(is_array($value) && !empty($value))) {
-        throw new AphrontQueryParameterException(
-          $query,
-          "Expected a scalar or null or non-empty array for ".
-          "%{$type} conversion.");
-      }
-      break;
-    default:
-      throw new Exception("Unknown conversion '{$type}'.");
-  }
-}
diff --git a/src/infrastructure/storage/query/queryfx.php b/src/infrastructure/storage/query/queryfx.php
deleted file mode 100644
index 9e70accb45..0000000000
--- a/src/infrastructure/storage/query/queryfx.php
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,67 +0,0 @@
-<?php
-
-/*
- * Copyright 2012 Facebook, Inc.
- *
- * Licensed under the Apache License, Version 2.0 (the "License");
- * you may not use this file except in compliance with the License.
- * You may obtain a copy of the License at
- *
- *   http://www.apache.org/licenses/LICENSE-2.0
- *
- * Unless required by applicable law or agreed to in writing, software
- * distributed under the License is distributed on an "AS IS" BASIS,
- * WITHOUT WARRANTIES OR CONDITIONS OF ANY KIND, either express or implied.
- * See the License for the specific language governing permissions and
- * limitations under the License.
- */
-
-/**
- * @group storage
- */
-function queryfx(AphrontDatabaseConnection $conn, $sql/*, ... */) {
-  $argv = func_get_args();
-  $query = call_user_func_array('qsprintf', $argv);
-  $conn->executeRawQuery($query);
-}
-
-/**
- * @group storage
- */
-function vqueryfx(AphrontDatabaseConnection $conn, $sql, array $argv) {
-  array_unshift($argv, $conn, $sql);
-  call_user_func_array('queryfx', $argv);
-}
-
-/**
- * @group storage
- */
-function queryfx_all(AphrontDatabaseConnection $conn, $sql/*, ... */) {
-  $argv = func_get_args();
-  call_user_func_array('queryfx', $argv);
-  return $conn->selectAllResults();
-}
-
-/**
- * @group storage
- */
-function queryfx_one(AphrontDatabaseConnection $conn, $sql/*, ... */) {
-  $argv = func_get_args();
-  $ret = call_user_func_array('queryfx_all', $argv);
-  if (count($ret) > 1) {
-    throw new AphrontQueryCountException(
-      'Query returned more than one row.');
-  } else if (count($ret)) {
-    return reset($ret);
-  }
-  return null;
-}
-
-/**
- * @group storage
- */
-function vqueryfx_all(AphrontDatabaseConnection $conn, $sql, array $argv) {
-  array_unshift($argv, $conn, $sql);
-  call_user_func_array('queryfx', $argv);
-  return $conn->selectAllResults();
-}